“Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Those were the words Jesus cried out to his Father in the Garden of Gethsemane. The Savior of the world, of all humanity, knew what was coming and as much as he wanted the cup to be taken from him in his humanity, his divinity clung to the will of his Father.

What an example for us, and yet, at times, it seems to be our greatest struggle in life. He created us to have free will and then sends his son, our Savior, to reveal to us exactly how he desires for us to trust in his will and not our own. Just think for a moment about what a beautiful depiction of our love for him this is. To be given the ability to have our own will and yet say to him in our own moments of desperation, “Your will Father, not mine. You have given me this ability to choose, and I choose you, no matter the cost.” That is what Jesus was saying in that moment, “Your will, not mine Father. Your way, not mine.”

If you take a little time to meditate on this thought, you will see that our days are filled with moments where we are brought to this very place. Moments when we must decide if we are going to trust in his way and will for our lives, or our own. My life is filled with examples of this very thing. Times when I have chosen my own way and times when I have trusted his will for my life. When I have trusted in his will and followed in obedience, I have tasted his goodness in unspeakable ways. Ways too beautiful to be described with words. I have tasted the richness of his mercy and grace that cannot be compared to any desire I may have chased after in my own will. In truth, those choices have only left the bitterness of the consequences that followed.

Sometimes it is so very hard to hear him. The world is so filled with distractions that quickly try to consume us, yet he is there always… waiting. There is a sweetness in the surrender, a sweetness that comes when we give it all to him and say, “Your will, not mine.”

With the sweetness comes a freedom beyond anything we will ever experience on our own. The truth is, we were not created to please ourselves, and when we attempt to do so we are left with a deep sense of nothing. The happiness of the moment is fleeting. All of our attempts to please ourselves only imprisons us more in our flesh. What finally sets us free is the realization that his will for our lives is the only perfect thing we can find on this earth. It may not look like what we thought or imagined it to, but when we follow it we are filled with a peace and joy beyond measure. Think about it– what followed Jesus’ plea was not what any of those who loved and believed in him wanted in the moment, but it is what opened the doors to eternity for us.

The next time you are faced with something and are unsure of what to do, think about what Jesus said when faced with the anguish before him and recite some of the most profound words ever spoken, “Your will Father, not mine.”

Brittany Holberg is an Oblate of the Sisters of the Morning Star. She is housed on Texas Women’s Death Row.